Saima Ayub

A child stands in the middle of the room. Arms folded. Lips pressed tight. Eyes burning with a quiet storm.&nbsp;You say, &ldquo;Pick up your bag.&rdquo;&nbsp;The child says, &ldquo;No.&rdquo;&nbsp;And just like that, the air changes.&nbsp;We call it stubbornness. A difficult nature. A bad habit. A strong will gone wrong.&nbsp;But after years of watching children in classrooms, corridors, playgrounds, and parent meetings, I&nbsp;have learned something unsettling and honest: stubbornness is rarely about defiance. It is usually about&nbsp;distress.&nbsp;A child is not born stubborn. A child becomes stubborn when they feel unheard, unseen, or overpowered.&nbsp;In school, I have seen the quiet child suddenly refuse to write. The cheerful one who refuses to share. The&nbsp;obedient student who one day simply says, &ldquo;I won&rsquo;t.&rdquo; Parents are shocked. &ldquo;He was never like this.&rdquo;&nbsp; &ldquo;She&nbsp;used to listen.&rdquo;&nbsp;Yes. Because something has shifted inside.&nbsp;Children live in a world where almost everything is decided for them, what to wear, when to wake up,&nbsp;what to eat, when to study, how to sit, and how to speak.&nbsp;Their lives are structured by bells and instructions.&nbsp;And while structure is necessary, control without voice breeds resistance.&nbsp;Stubbornness is often a child&rsquo;s small, trembling attempt to say, &ldquo;I want some control too.&rdquo;&nbsp;Psychologists speak of autonomy as a basic human need. Even a four-year-old wants to feel capable. When&nbsp;that need is repeatedly dismissed.&nbsp; &ldquo;Don&rsquo;t argue.&rdquo; &nbsp;&ldquo;Just do as I say.&rdquo; &ldquo;Because I said so.&rdquo;&nbsp; The child&nbsp;learns that the only way to be heard is to resist.&nbsp;And resistance becomes a habit.&nbsp;There is another truth we rarely admit. Sometimes children become stubborn because we are.&nbsp;A rushed parent. A tired teacher. A command given without eye contact. An instruction repeated louder&nbsp;each time. The child mirrors what they see. Stiffness creates stiffness.&nbsp;I remember a boy in my school who refused to participate in group work. Every day, the same battle. His&nbsp;teacher insisted. He resisted. Voices rose. Tears followed.&nbsp;One afternoon, instead of insisting, the teacher sat beside him and asked softly, &ldquo;What worries you about&nbsp;group work?&rdquo;&nbsp;He whispered, &ldquo;They laugh at my English.&rdquo;&nbsp;That was the stubbornness. Not rebellion, fear.&nbsp;Once we understood that, everything changed.&nbsp;A graceful response does not mean permissiveness. It means firmness with dignity. Boundaries without&nbsp;humiliation. Authority without anger. When a child refuses, pause before reacting. Ask yourself: Is this about power, fear, tiredness, or simply a&nbsp;need to be noticed?&nbsp;Offer limited choices. &ldquo;You can start with math or English. Which one first?&rdquo; Choice restores dignity.&nbsp;Acknowledge feelings without surrendering rules. &ldquo;I know you&rsquo;re upset. The homework still needs to be&nbsp;done.&rdquo;&nbsp;Stay calmA calm adult regulates a storming child. A shouting adult creates a hurricane.&nbsp;And sometimes, let natural consequences teach. If a child refuses to pack their bag, allow them to face the&nbsp;discomfort of forgetting a notebook, without rescuing them immediately. Responsibility grows when we&nbsp;step back.&nbsp;Above all, protect the relationship. No lesson is more important than trust.&nbsp;Children who feel safe do not need to fight for control. They learn cooperation because they feel&nbsp;respected.&nbsp;In my years as an educationist, I have seen stubborn children grow into strong leaders, once their will&nbsp;was guided, not crushed. The same firmness that says &ldquo;No&rdquo; at five can say &ldquo;I stand for what is right&rdquo; at&nbsp;twenty.&nbsp;Stubbornness is raw strength. Mishandled, it becomes rebellion. Understood, it becomes resilience.&nbsp;So the next time a child folds their arms and says &ldquo;No,&rdquo; do not see an enemy.&nbsp;See a small human being, struggling to find their voice in a world that often speaks over them.&nbsp;And respond, not with force, but with steady grace.

Blogs

Children’s stubbornness is rarely defiance; it signals distress, fear, or a need for autonomy. Control without voice breeds resistance. Calm authority, limited choices, natural consequences, and preserved trust transform defiance into resilience, guiding strong will into future leadership.

Why children become stubborn, and how to respond gracefully

As parents and guardians we think of lying as a moral crack in the wall. But when it comes to children, truth is usually softer, and sadder.&nbsp;Children lie because of fear.&nbsp;They are not afraid of prison or police rather our faces. They are afraid of our silence. Afraid of disappointing the people whose approval feels like everything.&nbsp;A child who breaks a glass does not first think about right or wrong. He thinks about what will happen next. Will there be shouting? Will love feel distant? In that quick, anxious moment, a lie becomes a small shield. &ldquo;It wasn&rsquo;t me.&rdquo; It is not wickedness speaking. It is fear trying to survive.&nbsp;If we are honest with ourselves, we may remember doing the same.&nbsp;There is also imagination, a bright and restless force in childhood. A five-year-old may&nbsp;insist the cat opened the cupboard or the wind pushed the vase. To us it sounds like&nbsp;deliberate deception. But in a young mind, imagination and reality often sit side by side.&nbsp;The child is not carefully constructing fraud. He is escaping guilt the only way he knows how, through story.&nbsp;As children grow older, their lies change shape.&nbsp;An older child may hide poor marks. A teenager may lie about where she was. These lies&nbsp;are not about spilled milk anymore. They are about identity. About wanting to be seen as&nbsp;capable, responsible, mature.&nbsp;Children care deeply about how we see them. Sometimes more than we realize.&nbsp;When expectations are high and mistakes feel unbearable, truth begins to look dangerous. There is also another quiet reason: children are learningsome point. At some point a child discovers that thoughts are private. That adults cannot see inside&nbsp;their minds. It is a startling discovery. With it comes experimentation. &ldquo;If I say this, will they believe me?&rdquo; It is less a plan to deceive and more a test of the world.&nbsp;None of this means lying should be ignored. Trust, once damaged, is difficult to rebuild. But punishment alone rarely builds honesty. It often builds better liars.&nbsp;If every confession is met with anger, the child learns to hide more carefully next time.&nbsp;What then helps?Calmness helps.&nbsp;When a child admits, &ldquo;Yes, I broke it,&rdquo; and hears, &ldquo;Thank you for telling me,&rdquo; something important happens. The mistake still matters. The consequence may still follow. But the&nbsp;child learns that truth does not cancel love.&nbsp;That lesson stays.&nbsp;We must also look at ourselves. Children notice the small things. When we say on the&nbsp;phone, &ldquo;Tell them I&rsquo;m not home,&rdquo; they are listening. When we exaggerate stories or twist&nbsp;facts, they are watching. We cannot demand honesty in a language we do not speak.&nbsp;A lying child is not a lost child.More often, it is a worried child. Or an ashamed child. Or simply a growing child trying to&nbsp;manage feelings too large for his small hands.&nbsp;If we want honesty, we must make it safe. Safe to fail. Safe to confess. Safe to be imperfect.&nbsp;The real question is not, &ldquo;Why is my child lying?&rdquo;&nbsp;Perhaps it is, &ldquo;What is my child afraid of losing if they tell the truth?&rdquo;&nbsp;When we answer that gently &mdash; not with authority alone, but with understanding, we&nbsp;may find that the lies grow fewer, and the conversations grow deeper.&nbsp;And that is where trust truly begins.

Children often lie from fear, imagination, or growing identity, not malice. Honesty grows when adults respond calmly, model truth, and make mistakes safe, showing that truth never cancels love, trust, or belonging for children everywhere.

The psychology behind kids lying

Washington: The United States will consider obesity or having children with special needs as reasons to reject immigrant visas, in the latest salvo by President Donald Trump to turn away foreigners. In a cable sent earlier this month, Secretary of State Marco Rubio asks US embassies to factor in conditions including obesity when issuing long-term visas, on the grounds that being obese can &quot;require expensive, long-term care.&quot; It also asks embassies to assess if any dependents have &quot;disabilities, chronic medical conditions, or other special needs and require care&quot; to the extent that the visa applicant could not work. The memo was first reported by KFF Health News. Its contents were confirmed to AFP by a person who saw it. The United States is already one of the most obese countries in the world, tied to factors including diet and lack of exercise. Around 40 percent of the US population is obese, with rates on average higher in states that voted for Trump. The new guidance will apply for people seeking to immigrate to the United States and not foreigners on routine short-term visits. The United States has long looked at whether a person would become a &quot;public charge&quot;&mdash;relying on government funds&mdash;before admitting immigrants, including when Americans seek to bring in marriage partners. But Trump has been especially zealous in finding reasons to refuse entry as he carries out a sweeping crackdown against migration, one of his signature campaign promises. &quot;It&#39;s no secret the Trump administration is putting the interests of the American people first,&quot; State Department spokesman Tommy Pigott said. &quot;This includes enforcing policies that ensure our immigration system is not a burden on the American taxpayer.&quot; The Trump administration has funded a surge of immigration enforcement in a bid to deport undocumented migrants en masse, even when they have not committed crimes other than immigration violations. Rubio has also sought to cancel visas for people who are seen as going against US foreign policy, including for statements on Israel.

Americas

The United States will consider obesity or having children with special needs as reasons to reject immigrant visas

US to factor obesity, special-needs children in refusing visas

WASHINGTON: A food aid program that supports millions of low-income mothers and their young children received a $300 million infusion from the Trump administration this week, alleviating some anxiety that it would run out of money during the government shutdown. The Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children helps more than 6 million low-income mothers, young children, and expectant parents purchase nutritious staples, such as fruits and vegetables, low-fat milk, and infant formula. The program, known as WIC, was at risk of running out of money this month due to the government shutdown, which occurred just before it was slated to receive its annual appropriation. This week, White House spokeswoman Karoline Leavitt posted on X that the White House had found &ldquo;a creative solution&rdquo; to use tariff revenues to keep the program afloat. By Thursday, at least some states were receiving WIC money. Alaska and Washington said they received enough federal funds to keep their programs running until at least the end of October. The Inter-Tribal Council of Nevada, which had closed its office on Thursday after running out of money, received money that allowed it to reopen on Friday, radio station KUNR reported. Officials from the US Department of Agriculture, which runs WIC, told congressional staffers they were using $300 million in unspent tariff revenue from the last fiscal year to keep the program afloat, two people briefed on the call told AP. The people declined to be named because they were not authorized to share details from the call. Tariff revenue supports many USDA programs. The law permits the administration to transfer money allocated for other programs to WIC. Without the additional money, state and local governments would have had to step in to pay for their WIC programs and later seek reimbursement from the federal government when funding was restored. Washington state, which is dealing with a massive budget shortfall, said it could not afford to use state money for the WIC program. In Alaska, the WIC program only had enough federal money to operate through Saturday, meaning the state would have had to step in with its own funding to keep the program running. But this week, officials learned they were receiving nearly $900,000, enough to fully fund the program through Nov. 8, according to Shirley Sakaye, a spokesperson with the state&rsquo;s health department. About half a million of that came from leftover funds from other programs, she said. The government has been shut down since Oct. 1, after Republicans and Democrats in Congress failed to pass a bill to continue funding the government. Congressional Democrats want to reverse cuts to Medicaid that were passed earlier this year as part of President Donald Trump&#39;s mega-bill. They also want to extend subsidies that cut the cost of Affordable Care Act insurance plans, which cover more than 24 million Americans. The White House and Republicans in Congress have hammered Democrats for the shutdown, highlighting the potential damage it could do to WIC. &ldquo;The Democrats are so cruel in their continual votes to shut down the government that they forced the WIC program for the most vulnerable women and children to run out this week,&rdquo; Leavitt posted on X. But House Republicans and the White House have also sought to cut the program. Trump&#39;s budget proposal and a budget bill passed by House Republicans last month would not have fully funded the program, meaning it would have to turn away eligible applicants. &ldquo;Since President Trump is now signaling he cares about the WIC program, he should finally get to the negotiating table to reopen the government,&rdquo; said Sen. Patty Murray, a Democrat from Washington state. &ldquo;And he should immediately disavow his budget request to significantly cut benefits for millions of moms and kids &mdash; and tell House Republicans to back off their proposed cuts as well.&rdquo; ____

The Trump administration allocated $300 million in tariff revenues to keep the WIC food program running during the government shutdown, temporarily preventing service disruptions for millions of low-income mothers and children nationwide.

WIC food program receives $300M to keep running during government shutdown

<span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">INDONESIA: &nbsp;Health workers on wheels are part of the regional government&rsquo;s latest efforts to curb a deadly measles outbreak on Madura Island that has persisted for the past nine months. More than 2,600 children have already been infected this year, and 20 have died. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But efforts to stop the outbreak from spreading through the predominantly Muslim population are being hindered in part by concerns that some measles vaccines may not meet Islamic halal standards because they use a stabilizer that is derived from pigs. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pork-derived gelatin is widely used as a stabilizer to ensure vaccines remain safe and effective during storage and transport, presenting a dilemma to religious communities that view pigs as ritually unclean.&nbsp; <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Many Islamic scholars argue that vaccines containing gelatin stabilizers can be used under Islamic law, as can other medical products with pig-derived ingredients, provided certain conditions are met. Many others, however, disagree with this approach. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Indonesian religious leaders ruled in 2018 that vaccines with pig gelatin are haram, or forbidden, but advised Muslims that they can be used until other shots are available &ldquo;for the benefit of society,&rdquo; said Ahmad Syamsuri, the head of Disease Control and Prevention at the Sumenep Health Office. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 700; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Religious concerns drive vaccine hesitancy for some<span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In Sumenep, many are reluctant even to discuss their religious concerns. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Pujiati Wahyuni, a 31-year-old Muslim mother and nurse, knows parents who refuse the vaccines for their children on religious grounds, though she recently had her daughter receive the vaccine at an Islamic kindergarten in Pamolokan village. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">&ldquo;Yes, there are some. Islam is a big religion. Maybe some Muslim people just do not want to get vaccinated, and it is not just now, but since they were born,&rdquo; Wahyuni said. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The regional government&rsquo;s latest efforts began in August and include making more than 78,000 vaccines available to children in the region, which are distributed through local clinics, delivered directly to the residents at their homes, and even brought to schools. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The hope is that the campaign will help prevent future outbreaks, infections, and deaths. But they cannot compel reluctant parents, said Musthafa, the general secretary of the Indonesian Ulema Council in Sumenep. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">&ldquo;We have high hopes for Muslims in Indonesia, who are the ones consuming it. Let us ask the government, in this case the Health Office and the Ministry of Health, to find a halal vaccine,&rdquo; said Musthafa. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Indonesia, the world&rsquo;s largest Muslim-majority nation, has reported previous outbreaks of measles, driven mainly by gaps in vaccination coverage. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In 2018, a major outbreak of the highly infectious disease occurred in the easternmost province of Papua, causing dozens of deaths. Due to some vaccine hesitancy, the Indonesian Ulema Council stated that the measles-rubella vaccine, produced by the Serum Institute of India, contained an ingredient derived from pigs; however, it allowed its use until a halal alternative was available. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 700; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Vaccination rates are falling<span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Globally, the World Health Organization reports that 84% of children received the first dose of the measles vaccine last year, and 76% had received two doses. But experts say measles vaccine rates need to reach 95% to prevent outbreaks. WHO noted that 60 countries reported significant measles outbreaks last year. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Measles vaccination rates in Indonesia fell below the country&#39;s targets in 2023, according to data from the Ministry of Health. In 2023, measles-rubella vaccinations reached 86.6% of the target, and in 2024, the number fell to 82.3%. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">From May to July &mdash; the peak of the outbreak in Sumenep &mdash; isolation rooms at regional hospitals were full as staff treated over a hundred measles cases daily. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">At an Islamic kindergarten in Pamolokan village, the head of the community health center met the students&rsquo; mothers before vaccines were administered and urged them to protect their children by reducing the spread of measles in Indonesia. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Despite her hesitation over the vaccine&rsquo;s ingredients, Ayu Resa Etika, 28, from Kebunan village, finally allowed her 2-year-old son to get his delayed second dose after seeing many local children hospitalized with measles. <span style="font-size: 18px; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: transparent; font-weight: 400; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">&ldquo;There is a little doubt because it is not halal. But despite all that, this is for the sake of the child&rsquo;s health,&rdquo; Etika said. &ldquo;The effects are quite extraordinary; it can cause death. I am afraid that if my son is not vaccinated against measles, that is the risk. So it&rsquo;s OK, as long as the effects are good.&rdquo;

Asia

A measles outbreak on Madura Island in Indonesia has infected over 2,600 children and killed 20 this year, with vaccine hesitancy fueled by halal concerns. Authorities push mass vaccination, while religious leaders urge halal alternatives.

Halal concerns drive vaccine hesitancy as Indonesia fights measles outbreak

LONDON: A first group of sick and wounded children from Gaza are headed to Britain under a scheme allowing them to receive medical treatment, the UK&#39;s health ministry confirmed Sunday. Prime Minister Keir Starmer announced in July that Britain will evacuate Gazan children for treatment, noting most hospitals in the Palestinian territory are no longer functioning. The government has said the scheme is essential due to the lack of vital medicines and supplies in Gaza and medical workers being unable to do their jobs safely. &quot;We expect the children and their immediate family members to arrive in the UK in the coming weeks,&quot; said a health ministry statement, noting that no flight details would be released &quot;for operational security reasons&quot;. In an interview with the Daily Mirror newspaper on Friday, Foreign Secretary Yvette Cooper said the first group of children &quot;have left Gaza and are on the way... to the UK&quot;. The paper reported the children are being cared for by medics in another country in the region, before coming to Britain for treatment. A small number of injured Gazan children have already been brought to Britain under a private programme, Project Pure Hope. Ministers have not said how many children will arrive under the new scheme, with reports the first cohort could comprise 30 to 50. Authorities are also working to evacuate students with places to study at British universities. &quot;It&#39;s a lot of diplomatic work in order to help them actually leave Gaza and then also travel through other countries in order to be able to get to the UK,&quot; Cooper told The Mirror. &quot;But that work is underway and I&#39;m determined to make sure that we can do our bit to help those injured families and also to help students get into their courses this autumn.&quot;&nbsp; Israel launched its Gaza offensive in October 2023 in retaliation for the cross-border attack by Palestinian group Hamas, which resulted in the deaths of 1,219 people, most of them civilians, according to an AFP tally based on Israeli figures. Israel&#39;s retaliatory offensive has killed at least 64,756 Palestinians, most of them civilians, according to figures from the health ministry in Hamas-run Gaza that the UN considers reliable.

Middle East

First group of sick and wounded children from Gaza headed to Britain to receive medical treatment

Articles tagged with "Children, women killed in Gaza"

Why children become stubborn, and how to respond gracefully

The psychology behind kids lying

US to factor obesity, special-needs children in refusing visas

WIC food program receives $300M to keep running during government shutdown

Halal concerns drive vaccine hesitancy as Indonesia fights measles outbreak

First group of sick, injured Gaza kids UK-bound under govt scheme